Monday, April 7, 2008

9 A.M.

The appointment was for 9 AM. Okay.. Too early for me but fine. Definitely too early for me to deal with him but okay. Part of me was hoping he wouldn't show up. I am usually okay when it comes to dealing with him. This time was different though. I felt..vulnerable? No.. I don't think that was what that was. Honestly I think it goes along with the whole I want to matter feeling I've had lately. Even to him I suppose I want to be someone . Hell, some *thing* would work just fine. Not just to him, to anyone, someone. But anyways..I digress (must look up that word). I didn't want today to end up with him signing a piece of paper saying I didn't matter..that I never mattered. And worse, that his kids didn't/don't matter. That would suck. Royally. So anyways... There was a change in destinations and I knew he wasn't notified of the change, so there was a chance.. maybe a small chance, but a chance.. he wouldn't show up. That would work in my favor. Okay so call me vindictive. Moving on.. He finally showed around 9:30. At 11:30 we still hadn't been called back. 12:30, the suit came out announcing the judge was breaking for lunch, everyone come back at 2. There was a plethora of moans as everyone got up to go get lunch, go potty, go grab some sex..whatever. Me and hubby..we just opted for lunch. Neither one of us had eaten very much and were starved. Nothing special, just BK. But boy was it yummy! Okay so not much else happens with in that time. We just eat, hang out, then load back up headed back. We get there and everyone had returned..except him. But wait..oh shoot, there he is. Darn it. 2:25 comes and goes..2:45...3:15... 3:16 we get called back. Finally! After hearing about who was left, who showed, who didn't, who would win, who lost, how they were hungry again, etc. we got down to business. All worked out in my favor I suppose you could say. My only complaint would be that it wasn't nearly as painful for him as it should have been. He got off pretty easy I think. And he won't appreciate it, he won't realize it, he'll still think some evil injustice is happening to him. Let him.. Anyways, his current wife is there and she gets told the 'verdict'.. she kinda breathes a sigh of relief (like I stated, not nearly as painful as it shoulda been), and leaned in the truck where I was sitting and then.. "So, was it really worth it?" followed by a laugh. I guess what she is not wanting to acknowledge is..it's not me doing it. Yes he has a responsibility and I firmly believe he needs to be responsible for that but I didn't drag him back to court. Okay so he missed a day of work..prolly some plan of hers got screwed up because of it. But their day wasn't the only one messed up. He wasn't the only one who was 'dragged' in there. I was too. I didn't ask for this, I didn't request this. It was completely out of my control. However, it wasn't out of his control. She also isn't acknowledging the possibility of if he'd been doing what he was supposed to be doing, then it wouldn't have happened. There would be no question of 'why aren't you..?' Oh well.. Yeah, I wanted to deck her. I should have. Followed by "Ya know? I think it was worth it. Absolutely!" Anyways, I'm tired, I hurt..so I'm signing off for the night.

D.

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